I was speechless, but not without a visual reaction. With apologies to M.C. Escher and BAND–AID®, I cobbled this unpublished editorial cartoon for my Facebook page in 2015.

CARTOONIST, HEAL THYSELF.

The proverb “Physician, heal thyself” is widely interpreted as a scolding that one should take care of one’s defects and not just correct the faults of others. But how immeasurably impractical is that? Personal perfection is unattainable unless you have an outsized ego that says otherwise, but that is a big-time flaw right there. One’s shortcomings should not preclude trying to help others.

My title would have been a message to physically and spiritually wounded cartoonists to mourn and continue to pursue their calling.

You’ve all heard the phrase, “Perfect is the enemy of good.” There are variations of that maxim, my favorite being “Perfect is the enemy of DONE.”

If you’re in the business of delivering a product or service (or both) to a paying client, you won’t last long if you are chronically late, even if you overdeliver on the goods. My stints in newspaper production departments, where deadlines were not to be messed with, were my best real-life applications of that lesson.

Although I have worked as a weekly newspaper editorial cartoonist for only a few years, meeting deadlines remains a freshly taught lesson. Workload logjams or other production impediments, such as time lost to air travel, occasionally pop up. At those times, “Good enough is good enough!” becomes a flashing neon sign in my mind’s eye.

The preceding babble is my explanation and weak apology for why this loosely drawn cartoon falls short of my artistic goal. But it was on time, and that’s better than missing a flight.

Thanks for reading Let Me Be Frank. I mean, who else am I gonna be?

Everyone knows that gold and silver are considered precious metals. There are eight metals that are considered precious. They are gold, silver, platinum, palladium, rhodium, ruthenium, iridium, and osmium. That list goes from “know it well” to “know something about it” to “who made up this bogus name?” I should shut up now because readers with real metallurgical expertise are going to shoot me down with words that are more damaging than real metal bullets.

Here are some facts I scrounged up online. The Paris 2024 Olympic organizing committee says the gold and silver medals for the Games are made from solid silver, and that six grams of gold are used in the first-place medals. The gold is gilded on top.

So what are they worth? The medals themselves are not really worth all that much in actual materials. Gold medals have not been made with pure gold since 1912. The Paris Olympics gold medals are actually 95.4% silver according to People. That makes their value around $950. Silver medals are worth about $486 and bronze medals (Poor bronze!) just $13 in actual metal worth.

Compositions of the medals of the 2024 Summer Olympic and Paralympic Games in Paris © Arche Energy Pty Ltd

One pretty cool thing about all of this year’s medals is that they contain original iron that was used in the construction of the Eiffel Tower.

This is all minutiae compared to what people really want to know, and that is WHAT ARE THE MEDAL COUNTS FOR EACH COUNTRY? The two front runners are the USA and China. The black and white fella here is gaining on the red, white and blue for overall count, but is unlikely to overtake Uncle Sam in 2024. However, there’s a decent chance that China can take the gold for the most gold medals.

Gentlemen, start your wheelbarrows.

Thanks for reading Let Me Be Frank. C’mon back! There’s more coming!

NFL referees have become discussion fodder on the same level as the players in today’s game. Unlike posts about players which are often calibrated to bring out point-counterpoint “discussion”, referee chatter is usually one-sided with the zebras being accused of incompetency and having their calls driven by the power of Las Vegas. Cries of “Scripted!” and “Rigged!” abound on Facebook and TCFKAT, TheCompanyFormerlyKnownAsTwitter.

Referees under scrutiny is nothing new, however. This article appeared in the January 1999 edition of a free tabloid called “Niagara Frontier Sports & Leisure.”

This cartoon paired with that article. I had forgotten all about it until Andrew N., a Facebook follower, asked me, “Did you ever find that “field goal” with the pigeon?”

Andrew’s good memory prompted me to find this story and cartoon in my collection of unlabeled attic boxes. His timing was pretty good with Artificial Intelligence making inroads into just about every industry. It’s already on the sidelines and in the press box giving rapid fire analytics on what to do and what to say. Will AI along with machine vision technology make its way into on-the-field officiating? Robo Ref was a gag concept in 1999. This cartoon scenario could make you gag in 2029. Or sooner.

With a keen sense of humor and an unapologetically dark tone, Buford has created a comic strip that reflects his talent for macabre-based humor. “Scary Gary” follows the life of a bumbling yet likeable retired vampire named Gary (of course), who tries to adapt to life in Suburbia, USA. His world is populated by an eccentric cast of friends, led by his resentfully loyal henchman, a fanged squatty green monster named Leopold.

Buford regularly breaks through the guardrails of humor with a sensitive take on loneliness and rejection particularly through the dialogue of Travis, a naively optimistic severed head in a bottle, and Owen, a bespectacled ghost whose self confidence is about as wispy as his hovering self. As Charles Schulz proved, the themes of loneliness and rejection can help endear a character to the readership.

Some daily strips:

Adding Color to the World of “Scary Gary”:

I’m not just a fan, I am the colorist for the Monday through Saturday installments of “Scary Gary.” With great pleasure I get to bring Buford’s black and white daily comics to life (or death, depending on the gag) with hues that add an extra layer of depth to the already rich world of the strip. Wanna know what else bonds me to this great comic feature? Mark and I work on identical graphic tablets, the Wacom Cintiq 22 for all you digital graphics nerds.

Color me lucky because I dive into the weirdly wonderful and eerie neighborhood of “Scary Gary” at a detailed level few have access to. The best of both worlds is mine-mine-MINE because I CAN see the forest for the trees. BWA-HA-HA-HAAAA!

“Scary Gary” is a comic strip that makes me chuckle like a distracted middle school kid during a boring class. If you haven’t yet discovered the world of “Scary Gary,” it’s time to dive in and experience the funny and twisted world of this exceptional comic strip. Take a good-sized sampling and let me know what you think. I’ve let Mark know I’ll be waving the flag for Gary, Leopold and company. Maybe he’ll take time (hint-hint) to chime in himself.

https://www.gocomics.com/scarygary/2023/04/13